Lazizza - New Orleans

Oh my! Where to begin with this one? Horrible isn't sufficient enough to describe this train wreck that calls itself a restaurant. We actually wanted to go to Alberto's right around the corner but being as the Jazz Fest was going on many of the restaurants were closed. So we saw this place and decided to give it a shot. I hadn't eaten all day, it two o'clock and I was really hungry.

So we walk into a large dark space and there were several tables and chairs at the front, a couple of booths in back, some sort of lounge area off to the side and a bar. Only one table was occupied. Normally this would have tipped me off not eat there but since everyone was at the Jazz Fest I was hoping that accounted for the lack of patrons.

The bartender came out from behind the bar, gave us sticky menus and took our drink order. When he brought our drinks back we ordered the Hawaiian pizza. It was described as having pineapple, peperoni, tomatoes, and cream cheese on it. It wasn't exactly like any Hawaiian pizza I've had before but I could never have dreamt up what got delivered to the table.

Now the bartender whom also seems to be the server, the cook, and the busboy goes back to the kitchen. He spent half an hour, in which no one was taking care of anything in the dining room, banging around and going in and out of the refrigerator. In the interim prospective customers came and went when there was no one there to serve them. Feature that.

At last the train came off the rails. The bartender/server/cook/busboy brings out a pizza. (Not sure one could really call it that but we're going go with it.) It was some sort of lousy pre-made crust that had been topped with marinara and pepperoni and then baked. Now, after it had been baked this culinary moron took cream cheese and squeezed it out onto the pie in a spiral motion. He then followed up by putting cold diced tomatoes (not Roma or Cherry, just plain old tomatoes) and pineapple bits on top of that. I cannot figure out for the life of me what the heck he did to the pineapple. Upon tasting it, it was cold and clearly had not been baked in the oven yet it was an odd brown color. Nothing about this looked appetizing whatsoever. I managed the first bite and I think Jim got two bites in. This is hands-down the WORST pizza I have ever tasted!!!

As soon as the bartender/server/cook/busboy delivered the train wreck he proceeded to go outside for another 15 minutes where he was setting up tables and chairs. When he finally came back he did not ask us if we needed anything (after 45 minutes of waiting to get a glass refilled) and he did not ask how our meal was. I did let him know what I thought of it in a very diplomatic manner as constructive criticism. I don't think he really cared but when he came back with the check he was nice enough to let us know that he removed the pizza from the bill. We left and the place was empty.